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Life Signs

Reports of the unfortunate and sudden demise of Stargazer’s World are highly exaggerated. Even though I haven’t posted in the last few weeks doesn’t mean I plan to shut down the blog for good. I actually have a couple of posts in preparation and I hope to get things running again soon. But on the other hand I decided that taking a break from blogging wouldn’t be the end of the world. At the moment I slowly try to get things running again. So please excuse that this post is of a more personal nature than what you’re used to.

The last weeks and months have been quite hard for me. Even though I have been in therapy for the last months, my mental health issues flared up again earlier this year. I had to cancel a SWN campaign I wanted to run, because the fear I could mess up things again, turned into fully-blown anxiety attacks. Focussing on anything became exeedingly hard and I had to be signed off work for four weeks.

According to my therapist I suffer from a moderate depressive episode. In my case anxiety and sleep disorders are among the major symptoms. I am also pretty thin-skinned and prone to bouts of anger. I easily get frustrated, which doesn’t really help with creative endeavours like preparing for a roleplaying campaign or writing blog posts. In the last few months it has become pretty obvious that I suffer from some kind of mental health issue. But looking back, I realized that I have been suffering from depression for much, much longer.

Being able to call my mental health issues by name is actually helping a lot. Up until a while ago, I always had to give some pretty fuzzy explanations on what was wrong with me. Now that I know that it’s depression I suffer from, things are easier. I still have to cope with the symptoms from time to time, but it’s easier to talk about my problems. In addition to that the new medication my doctor prescribed seems to help.

Since I haven’t run any games in a while, writing about RPGs is becoming harder. I always drew a lot of inspirations from what I’ve experienced at the game table and at this moment I feel like a fake when I am writing about something I actually don’t do at the moment. There are also a couple of books on my shelf that need to be reviewed, but I haven’t managed to read them thouroughly – and my bad conscience isn’t helping.

I am pretty sure that things will slowly improve over time, but currently I am still struggling to cope with the daily chores. So please bear with me, if I don’t manage to post in a regular manner. I also hope you don’t mind if I use this blog to write about my depressions from time to time. Talking with other people about my problems has always helped me to cope and writing about it isn’t much different. I also got the impression that depression and other mental health issues are not uncommon in the RPG scene, so perhaps this topic is not completely off-topic at all.

The Top 5 posts of 2012

2012 has been a great year for the blog. According to the stats plugin I use the blog has been viewed about 260,000 times last year. This is quite amazing in my opinion. I never thought so many people were interested in what we’re writing here. Smiley

So let’s have a look at the 5 most popular posts in 2012:

  • #5: Sandbox games: A collection of links
    In early 2012 I planned to run a sandbox game for the first time and looked for great posts on the topic in the RPG blogosphere. This post links to a couple of posts that explain how to create and run a proper sandbox campaign.
  • #4: Our thoughts on D&D 5th Edition
    I am actually not surprised that this post made the top 5. D&D is still the most famous roleplaying game out there and a lot of people are very interested about the upcoming D&D Next. At the time of writing I actually lost all interest in D&D Next. One reason is definitely the fact that it will still take quite a while until the game is finally available and there are a lot of interesting alternatives like 13th Age, Barebones Fantasy, you name it.
  • #3: My thoughts on the D&D Next playtest rules
    Again, this is no surprise to me. D&D Next was and still is a hot topic and I would actually be surprised if my thoughts on the D&D Next playtest had been ignored by the community.
  • #2: My thoughts on the “Star Wars Edge of The Empire Beta”
    Hmm, I am beginning to see a trend here. It seems the readers of Stargazer’s World are very interested what our team of authors thinks about new developments in the gaming industry/community. Perhaps I should try to focus more on this subject in 2013. What do you think?
  • #1: Review: Iron Kingdoms Core Rules
    My review of the new Iron Kingdoms roleplaying game was actually the most popular post in 2012. Since I posted it on September 11th it has been viewed about 4,600 times. It’s actually the 9th most viewed post on the blog since I started in 2008. I never would have guessed this post would be that popular. Wow!

What was your favorite post in 2012? Please post your thoughts below!

Taking a break!

note_32821 The end of the world year is almost upon us and I decided to take a break from blogging during my holiday. My creative batteries are almost empty and I want to use the upcoming days and weeks to relax without having to worry about the blog too much. Don’t worry, this is no goodbye. As long as nothing unforeseen happens, the Stargazer’s World will be back in action in January 2013.

I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! Take care, guys!

Four Years of Stargazing

Michael at GenCon 2010 Today, we’re not going to talk about games. Well, not directly. Michael offered me the coveted opportunity to invade his space, and post whatever I wanted to to celebrate the fourth anniversary of Stargazer’s World. Y’know? The site you’re on right now? This really great website where he shares his ideas and hopes and commentary about the world of gaming and, more specifically, the world of roleplaying games which continues to grow in strange and wonderful directions every day.

Naturally, I told him I was honored, and asked when he needed this. Y’know, since words are largely my stock and trade, they are something I need to write, regularly, to keep the lights on around Reality Blurs. He asked if I could get draft this up today, so, basically, right away. (Or, in this case, write away!) Normally, I would need more notice than none, but I’ve been put in more compact time frames, and am able to crank words out as the situation demands. Or, in many cases, I would gracefully decline. The requests to post on other people’s websites increases inversely with your necessity to do them. Life is full of perversions like this. If you’re young, get used to it. If you’re not, then you know I’m telling the truth.

As the guest, I asked what he wanted me to write about. I can write about most anything (between outright fictions and fabrications to real world stuff), and make it at least a tad bit entertaining if not somehow enlightening for you, the gentle reader. He half-jokingly suggested I write about him. I thought that was a grand idea. It is the anniversary of his website after all. He graciously said I could talk about other matters as well, such as my processes and promote products, but I don’t feel this is the place for that. I will suggest you check out the Reality Blurs website if you want to read about the trials, tribulations, setbacks, and successes of my company.

Four years. Wow. Michael’s been at this for four years. Which, if you think about it, is like a million internet years at least. Right? I remember having only vaguely been familiar with the site he started on August 4th of 2008 when I met him at GenCon. He was a pleasant fellow with a thick German accent whom I met after one of the Savage Worlds panels. I was tired from a late night and, as I recall, Shane Hensley asked the audience to provide us with genres and we’d come up with a setting idea. I was given the stumper of Regency Romance, a Mi-Go artifact, and the Mariana Trench, so I mind was a bit exhausted. He asked about setting up an interview with me during the show. I said absolutely. And it did happen, but I’ll get back to that…

And that’s where I’m going with this. Michael is tenacious, friendly, and charming. He’s put together something really special here. You can tell he and his crack crew (real live people rather than just him and his drive) care about gaming on a fundamental level. They aren’t here to rake in millions of dollars (that I’m aware of), but provide the community a great service by sharing their love and insight of the hobby. The words you read on this website are valued for their insight and integrity and, most of all, as honest opinions and assessments. Stargazer’s World is one of the first places I turn to find out about a game I’ve not yet played. Why? Because it’s likely that Michael may have already played it or, at least, read it and provided a critical analysis. This website is rich in trust currency, and you can trust the crew here to be largely spot on about their insights. (Caveat: I can’t say completely spot on, can I? What if they don’t like something I do down the road? Remember: always have an exit strategy.)

I’ll end with a more personal anecdote, a light touch upon the shoulder of the man who started up this site, Michael Wolf. I mentioned where we only got to speak briefly that first chance meeting? We did eventually get to talk later on, and it was a delightful conversation. Subsequent to that, he and I chat quite regularly from across the pond via instant messaging, and I’d have to say we’ve forged a friendship beyond just gaming. That being said, I trust his ethics and, if we grow derelict in our duty as designers, he shall point them out in the most gracious way possible.

Until next time, I bid you, dear reader, adieu!

P.S. If I misremember any facts, it’s because I am largely a purveyor of fiction and reality blurs, after all.

Official Forums

I’ve decided to create a discussion forum for the Stargazer Games and Stargazer’s World communities. The forums are meant as a place where you can post your questions regarding our games, share your ideas and talk about RPGs in general.

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Registering should be pretty easy, especially since you can login with your Google account. If you have any questions regarding the forums feel free to post your question in the comments below or use the Site Discussion category in the forums.

Co-Op Gamers

A couple of days ago my girlfriend and I have started a new blog focused on cooperative PC and console games. If you are interested in these kind of games, why not check it out? We already have a couple of posts and we plan to have about one post per week.

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By the way, the adorable owls are Verena’s creation. Check out Co-Op Gamers here!

On a more personal note

stargazer_tophatA couple of days ago I posted about my plans to change the pace on the blog and hinted at the reasons. Today I thought some of you might be interested in an update.

One of the reasons why I haven’t posted that often recently is that I have a lot of stress-related issues like sleep disturbances, panic attacks and depressive episodes. Since then I have had an appointment with my GP. She signed me off work for the next two weeks and I am now on a mild antidepressant that should help me sleep and get rid off the panic attacks.

I am still not totally symptom free and my attempts to get an appointment with a psychotherapists have been futile so far. But I’ve started to deal with my health issues and I am pretty sure things will improve from now on.

I want to thank all of you for your continued support. And don’t worry, I won’t shut down this blog anytime soon. In fact I’ve written another RPG-related post that will go live tomorrow!

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